


Without him

by Tara1517



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, First Time, Hokage Uzumaki Naruto, M/M, NaruSasu - Freeform, not a good ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 14:32:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17562263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tara1517/pseuds/Tara1517
Summary: Naruto reminisces





	Without him

**Author's Note:**

> This is my way of expressing my frustration for the many things that could have been done for this pairing and now I'm cryiiiiiing excuse my sorry ass. 
> 
> Enjoy.

He remembers it, so fresh in his mind, a vivid memory of rain and frustration and nervousness as if it was yesterday.

 

Naruto thinks he shouldn't be thinking about it, about him while his wife and two children are waiting for him at their house. No, he shouldn’t. And yet- 

 

Hinata always knew after all. What that marriage meant to him. What he meant to him, even if she didn’t acknowledge it.

 

The reason that sparked the memory was none too important. Just a friendly chatter between him and Shikamaru as they'd meet up for their weekly date at Ichiraku's. A teasing grin followed by the question of 'When was it? Your first.' 

 

And Naruto then had been pushed over a hill too deep and full to the brim with heated skin and bashful smiles that did little of covering up their nakedness. 

 

He'd brushed the question off with one of his boisterous laughs, clapped Shikamaru on the back with an 'As if you’d want to know' before slurping on his ramen. 

 

As he sits in his office, well into the night, he falls back on his chair and closes his eyes, Shikamaru's question playing over and over in his mind. He brings up a hand to the bridge of his nose in a silent debate with his inner desires. But then, he glances at the photo on his desk, and his eyes rake over _his_ figure and he lets out a watery laugh before he succumbs to his thoughts. He decides that's the only consolation he has left, the only indulgence he permits himself to fall into as he's got nothing else from him.

 

And then he remembers, the memories strong as if he's reliving them now after that many years.

 

Sasuke was so beautiful that night. Painted in glorious light falling from the lantern beside the shabby bed. Orange light. Enveloped in his colour and it brought Naruto a sense of preservation, a need to protect this sight beneath him, even though he knew all that well that at the end he would be the one needing saving. Because Sasuke- 

 

Sasuke was bound to be the one to save him. 

 

It was awkward to say the least. Two young boys barely reaching adulthood, fully knowing of death and wars and pain but nothing of this-this sacred act, an ancient performance of the civilization to keep existing. 

 

Yet it was sweet and so so gentle at the same time. Naruto laid on the mattress, his blasting smile tugging at his lips while Sasuke was standing calmly at the foot of the bed. And when Naruto opened his arms in a silent invitation Sasuke reluctantly fell above him and their lips met in a slow, yearning kiss- certainly not their first. 

 

They gave their bodies up to each other, the last step their relationship needed to evolve into something magnificent, something Naruto thought truly no one ever before experienced. 

 

The steady pattern of the rain outside the window provided background noise as Naruto lost his fingers inside Sasuke's body. But it did nothing to camouflage Sasuke's breathy moans. He found solace in Naruto’s presence, pulling him down to bury his heated face in his neck and Naruto still remembers the feel of his warm breath a whisper above his skin.

 

And finally when Sasuke spread his legs for Naruto to fit between them and Naruto sunk inside of him, the pressure, the heat, the tightness was too much, too much for them to handle. A feeling foreign to them both but they didn't stop, were unable to stop at this point with Sasuke trembling under his body, with his quiet pleas for more and please and so unlike Sasuke that Naruto thought he finally unraveled him to his most raw form, a demeanor no one ever had the privilege of witnessing. 

 

And when they spent, Naruto inside him and Sasuke on the palm of his hand, they stayed still, breathing in large gulps of air. He made to slip out and Sasuke tightened his legs around his waist on reflex, turned his head to the side to lay a kiss on the juncture of his neck, hands coming up to wrap around Naruto as if he wasn't ready to part with him yet. And Naruto stayed buried in him for a little longer before Sasuke rolled his hips, his gaze betraying his hunger and they began all over again.

 

The morning after may be the moment that engraved itself in Naruto's memory the most. The hesitant rays of sunlight slipping through the drafts, a still quietness and the distinctive smell of him overflowing the tiny room. 

 

And at that moment, as he watched Sasuke _breathing_ beside him on the bed soundly, a mild, relaxed expression Naruto didn't remember ever adorning his face he knew- knew for sure that -

 

He would never again be complete.

 

**Author's Note:**

> wow, you've reached the end of it! Thank you very very much.   
> All comments are appreciated <3


End file.
